Stirred, not shaken.

Oh, I know the quote is “shaken, not stirred”, but in this case, for me, it’s the other way around. I woke at 4:05 AM to a 4.4 magnitude earthquake. Not unusual for Southern California. What is unique is the gratitude I feel …and why.

The obvious why is that with so many devastating earthquakes occurring worldwide, one cannot help feeling grateful to have survived. My heart continues to go out to those suffering in Haiti and Chile. This was just a little rock-n-roll, centered 10 miles from where I am. No life altering consequences for me or my friends. Plenty of opportunity for reflection though.

My blessings are of a different sort. The first two earthquakes that I experienced when I moved to Los Angeles 3 years ago were during the active phase of my alcoholism. I slept, or rather remained passed out, through the first, and the second became an instant drama with which I saw a way to glean sympathy from my family. By that time, though, my family had long since stopped paying any attention to my histrionics. I was an active fault-line in their lives prone to wreak havoc without any provocation whatsoever.

I have experienced many earthquakes since then. A jolt of electricity always ran through my mind and my body, giving way to fear, and yes, excitement. Today, though I was stirred from my slumber, I was not shaken. I was fully in the moment. My concern did not become a vessel to manufacture concern, pity, or attention from friends or family. Instead, I turned to prayers of thanks that this wasn’t “the big one” and prayers for those whose lives have been forever altered by acts of Mother Nature. I rejoice in God’s plan, though I have NO idea what that is. I have a faith today that can be stirred, but not shaken. I wish the same for all of my fellows.

Thank you for paying me a 12 Step call.