Baruch dayan emet: Blessed be the one true Judge

It’s a gloomy morning here in LA, which complements my mood perfectly.

I awoke to the news that my “date’s” mother passed away early this morning. It was one of those moments that took my breath away. She had been in the hospital and her discharge was planned for today-tomorrow at the latest. He had been reeling over the ramifications of finding an ideal living situation that would provide her with the care that she would need on a daily basis. What a difference only a few hours can make. When I messaged him this morning, he was in a meeting. He was doing what he needed to do to take care of himself. Something I am not doing for me.

My “date” knows of the difficulty I am having right now. He does not sit in judgment of me or my actions. He does not question my willingness, my work, or my “way”. He is just “there”, providing the love and acceptance I cannot seem to muster up for myself at this very moment. And he is doing what is right for him today.

Being raised in the Catholic faith, I am fairly ignorant to the beliefs and rituals of other faiths. I have many AA friends now that are of the Jewish faith, so I am learning slowly, but this morning, in my desire to provide him with the support he needs, I did a little research into the proper etiquette in this situation. I was struck by the phrase “Baruch dayan emet” and its significance, not only for my Jewish fellows, but for me, today.

I am not finished pondering this concept. I have a lot of work to do.

For my “date”: I wish you long life.

Thank you for paying me a 12 step call.