Just take it back.

I don’t like how I’m feeling. It seems as if I feel worse on this medication than off of it. I’m stuck in the middle of stubborn acceptance of these side effects and calling Doctor to inquire about another drug. I know only too well that there is no easier, softer way, yet there’s got to be a something that doesn’t decrease the quality of my life.

Doctor is the one educated in these matters, however, I am the one stuck inside this body that seems to be turning on me. How much faith do I place in him and his personal and professional experience with this drug? Sponsor thinks it would be a good idea to call him today. And that is my plan. Yet it’s hard to swallow that this may be the wrong drug for which I paid out-of-pocket. I have only used 5 pills of 30. What a waste. And there are no refunds. (I don’t know why I just giggled at that…)

Refunds, huh? When something doesn’t fit or work, we take it back. It’s sometimes a hassle, but for the most part we walk away with something more suitable to our needs/wants. Or so we think. Sometimes we come home with nothing as there was no acceptable replacement. Sometimes we do this on our own, but sometimes we discuss our bad decision with someone else and get their ideas before we take action.

In any of those scenarios, we’re acting on faith, in a way. Faith that whatever the result, our needs will be met. We either enjoy our new item or learn to live without it, and somewhere in the back of our minds we keep an eye open for the perfect fit. Always hoping.

I don’t know why this seems so significant to me today. But there is something here that obviously needs a closer look.

Oh, joy...

Thank you for paying me a 12 Step call.