I woke up restless. I’m bugged about a few things. Prayer and meditation did not relieve my mind and heart.
Most of what is on my mind this morning has to do with integrity. So I looked up synonyms searching for a firmer grasp.
Integrity: honesty, principle, honor, virtue, goodness, morality, purity, righteousness, probity, rectitude, truthfulness, trustworthiness, incorruptibility, uprightness, scrupulousness, reputability.
A definition:
1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility
2 : an unimpaired condition : soundness
3 : the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness
An opinion: Integrity comes from the Greek words 'integritas' and 'integra' meaning whole. It enters into any aspect of one's life. It's belief system without faltering no matter how dangerous, how unpopular the person makes themselves to others. It includes: sincerity, keeping one's word and agreements, honesty, truthfulness, ethics, fairness and justice, punctuality and never faltering for what one believes in.
Nowhere in my quest did I find permission to judge another person’s integrity.
So the question is: if I choose to live my life by a certain “moral code” can I escape judgment of others with the simple mantra “Live and Let Live”? And how, if I am to be true to what I believe is right, can I abide what I believe to be wrong within my circle of friends? Is it enough to close my eyes to maintain the friendship, or need I walk away? And is walking away a form of judgment, placing myself and my values on a moral high ground?
A favorite quote of mine was delivered to me by Firstborn during the depths of my active alcoholism.
“No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.” Nathanial Hawthorne—The Scarlet Letter.
Another is on my 2 year coin: "To thine own self be true."
My heart is aching just a little. I must tread lightly. It's a long way down.
Thank you for paying me a 12 Step call.
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It's like you can see inside my heart, and the things I've been experiencing recently (OH SO RECENTLY).
ReplyDeleteI'm so grateful for this program and the people who are placed in my path, God has this inspired and amazing way of bringing just the right people to reflect the Truth!
I couldn't believe it when I read your post this morning either. It's a mirror reflection of me yesterday and today. Right down to typing out the 3rd step prayer, which I deleted. Goes to show God puts people in our lives for a reason, even if it is to complete our thought process so we are faced with the Truth. CRAZY. :-)
ReplyDelete'woke up restless. I’m bugged about a few things. Prayer and meditation did not relieve my mind and heart.'
ReplyDeleteAh yes :)
Faith without works is dead, and you cant 'think' yourself well. Its a program of ! action.
If I feel dodgy, going to a meeting and looking for newcomers i can help in whatever way I can is the best medicine. The greatest source of my problems is my self obsession, which gives me a very skewed perspective of reality. Service is the magic key :)
But yes, It took me a while to learn how to do it body and mind. Not just go through the motions. But the only instant thing in AAis the coffee :) so dont let that get you down :)
Newcomers save you from yourself. From your toxic and paralyzing levels of self obsession. They are a gift from god :) Even the completely exasperating ones that resist all attempts at being helped :) And kindness costs nothing. So you would be surprised how much you have to give people in the rooms with less time than you. Its VERY cool :) You must try it and tell me what you think :)
"Feeling without action is sentimentality Action without feeling is an empty gesture"
IFOB, your choice of words is uncanny. As I was writing this, I thought of how my thoughts have become obsessive. And you're right, when I'm feeling like this, helping someone with something they cannot do for themselves, whether it is a newcomer or not, is key.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your thoughts.
I forgot to say, LOVE the hawthorne quote!
ReplyDelete