Mommy-ness

With Mother’s Day being tomorrow, I was feeling kind of down. Having seen my children last week for FW’s funeral and not spending as much time with them as I would have liked, I was beginning to doubt my “mommy-ness”. Well, those feelings are fading quickly as I think about the day.

Navy son and I talk almost daily, and about some pretty heavy stuff. He’s been going through a rough time and has Liberty until tomorrow afternoon. Since he told me he would be off-base with his friends, I decided to give him some mommy-free space. I think he needs it.

Firstborn called this evening because she was feeling sick with a relentless cough. She needed my advice. And, she followed through with my suggestions, feeling just a little better tonight. During the NASCAR race she texted me when my favorite driver was wrecked and taken out of the race. We then texted back and forth about our favorite drivers and our “hated” drivers. It was really kind of neat. It warms my heart to know she still comes to me when she feels sick, and thinks of me when she is doing something she knows I enjoy.

Tomorrow is my regular day to phone my baby girl. I will do so from the beach or on my return home after the meeting. No need to alter our routine one day out of the year.

So, as it turns out, I don’t need Mother’s Day flowers, cards, or gifts to feel loved and appreciated after all. I’m a mommy every day. And I feel eternally blessed that I am sober and present for my children in all the ways that matter.

As for my mommy: She is my own very special angel and I miss her terribly, but I know that she lives on in my heart and my spirit. She is with me every day in all the ways that count.

What a blessing to live my life this way.

Thank you for paying me a 12 Step call.