The Keys To The Kingdom

I am now a proud tenant in Hollywood. Well, I signed the lease today and received the keys and garage remote. I spent 1 ½ hours taking pictures, measuring spaces and phoning friends from my new apartment. I even used the restroom and sat on the floor of the balcony.

This is a huge step, especially without a job. But again, circumstances are such that this was unavoidable. I must have faith that just as this opportunity materialized as I needed it, so too will a job, if I continue to be open-minded and willing to do what is in front of me in my quest.

As the feelings of elation ebbed just I little bit, I took my leave and headed to FH for dinner and a meeting. On the drive over, I thought of the chosen menu for today: Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. It was the House’s Director’s 39th Sober Birthday on the 10th, and it is always Thanksgiving Dinner for dinner the day she takes her cake. For me, it was fitting also. I have much for which to be grateful; today and every day.

I did, however eat too much. So much so, that I passed on the cake. Not like me at all. I don’t know whether it was over-consumption, or the anxiety of committing to a lease of my very own, or the lingering side effects (tachycardia) of the new drug, but I got to feeling pretty puny as the meeting started. I left rather abruptly once the meeting ended without the customary post-meeting chit-chat. I just needed to get home.

Tomorrow I will rest. I have no pressing issues, no errands to run. My trusty laptop will allow me to stay in bed and still perform my daily job search. Something I have not been able to do since I left for Chicago 2 weeks ago. Oh, yes, the car will need to be moved to avoid a ticket, but this doesn’t bother me as it used to. I now see a light at the end of THAT tunnel. :-)

I think I’ll need to say a little prayer (or 2 or 3...) that I overcome a particular set of character defects daily during the next couple of weeks before I move so that my car doesn’t get the boot. Sometimes knowing there’s relief ahead can bring out the worst in them, and me. Before Alcoholics Anonymous my car would have gotten the boot many, many times over. And I'd be broke from getting my car out of hock. (That is, of course, if I even noticed it was gone and/or could get sober enough to go through the gyrations of getting it back.)

I'm so grateful today to be able to anticipate the consequences of the many facets of my personality quirks. It doesn't mean I'm perfect, but I am learning.

Thank you for paying me a 12 Step call.